As much as I joke with self aggrandizing statements, I don't believe I have the right to impose my wishes or perspective on anyone. I learned from an early age that what I want isn't necessarily reflective of what should and will occur. Not just that, but just because I want a scenario to happen or want something for myself doesn't mean I deserve it.
I hate feeling like I'm forced to do something, and reflectively I hate feeling like I am forcing someone to do something. I thought that I open up when I'm drunk because I'm scared of admitting how I feel, or because when I'm sober I don't care enough to talk about it but the truth is when I'm drunk I am selfish. I don't think about the other perspective, but rather I am concentrated on my needs and concerns at the moment. I lose the conditioning I was raised with and just speak freely. But I understand that my wishes aren't reflective of reality, which is why I try my best to restrain myself, and wait until I am sober and more reasonable.
You're supposed to get wiser as you age, but I still dont know what is right; to unconditionally choose to follow and believe in what you want and desire, at the expense of the external world, or to be afraid of expressing your wants and needs, out of fear of weakness, rejection or isolation. And as I get older it doesn't become easier, but rather more obscure.
Accompanied by a photo of the Heart Nebula: Located in the constellation of Cassiopeia in the Perseusarm of the Milky Way galaxy.